Thursday, April 8, 2010

How to torture kitties

Dear Mr. Kitty,
Generally, I think you are a pretty cool guy. But, you messed with the wrong dog last weekend when you stalked me at my food bowl. So, I decided that it was time for some pay back. You know what they say about payback, right?? Something about a female dog - that's right! You know what I am talking about.

It was quite simple really. On Easter, everyone wants to see a cute picture of a dog in bunny ears, right??? So, I convinced Mom to go on a bunny ear search. Little did she know that I had a bigger plan in mind. The bunny ears were actually buried down in the depths of box I sent Mom to. (Cause seriously, what dog wants to be caught on camera in bunny ears?? Seriously people. Get a life!) On top of the box, was a cute little lobster costume. And guess who it was the perfect size for?? Let's just say, Char was about 20 pounds smaller than I am when she wore it for Halloween a couple years ago... That's right Mr. Kitty - it was a perfect fit for a certain 20 pound cat.
20 pounds of black cat covered in a small dog lobster costume - great crouch going onOh Mr. Kitty! You look so cute! I can hardly stand it! The way all those crustacean feet dangle around your body! The way the hood fits so perfectly over your little kitty ears. SO fabulous!
Mr. Lobster Kitty walking past Dagan, who is sniffing his lobster-ness
No Mr. Kitty, I am not laughing AT you! I am laughing WITH you! See - hahaha! So funny!

Simba's face, close up, eyes glowing with laughterSimba, on the other hand, thinks you have lost it and is, in fact, laughing her furry little butt off at you. Notice which kitty does not torture the young dogs in the house. That's right - the smart one!

So, Mr. Kitty, in the future, I would appreciate it if you can show me the respect that I deserve - the respect that all animals that are 40 pounds heavier than you deserve. Especially those that have the power to persuade the people in the house to fall into line with my master plans. You mind your business and I will mind mine.

Thanks for the consideration Mr. Lobster Kitty. And never forget what they say about payback!
Wags and Wiggles,


  1. We think Simba looks mighty "fancy" in a lobster suite, very cute!
    Though if I were the cat...

  2. I couldn't stop laughing when I saw Mr. Kitty in that lobster costume!!! Too funny. Mr. Kitty looks quite angry in that photo. Payback indeed.

    Maybe Kitty will stay away from your food next time...

  3. Dagan,
    I am sorry I haven’t written to you for awhile. My people were busy traveling and left me at GDB for more than two weeks. It’s okay there, but I like it better in Penngrove. I like to smell everything and run around the yard really really fast when I’ve been away from this place for awhile.
    I can’t believe you weigh sixty pounds already. Your as big as I am. I don’t spend much time with cats, but last weekend my Mom and Dad took me to a place with chickens and goats. I had so much fun. But Mom and Dad aren’t too sure I’d do well with cats.
    Your Mom

  4. Dog-Ma! So glad to hear from you! I am indeed a big boy! I hope you had fun at GDB! I have to go there in a couple weeks for 3 days. Mom says I am getting "Tutored" by the "Brain Fairy" whatever that means.

    I think you would love kitties just like me - I just gotta keep the big one in line. He gets a bit full of himself. I'd like to visit chickens - tons and tons of them live on my property, but they live in houses with outdoor pens that I can't get to. I think they would be fun though.

    Love and Licks,